The 12 stages of Aéropostale Anonyme



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Just one tweet this week sent Twitter ablaze after a woman shamed a man for showing up on a first date wearing an Aéropostale jersey.

The tweet sparked a heated debate over the clothing retailer’s merits, with the majority saying Aeropostale was still a worthy brand in 2021.

These people are delusional. And as a recovering Aero carrier, allow me to remind people of the 12 steps of Aéropostale Anonyme in the hope of squeezing the culture out of this outdated notion.

1. We admitted that we were powerless in the face of Aéropostale and that a 1987 Undefeated Season t-shirt is not a reasonable substitute for the letterman jacket that has eluded us for four years.

Dad: Were you on the team, son?

Me, 2002:… Yeah.


2. We have come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, and we demand more of ourselves than bacon collars, pooka shell collars, and cargo shorts with enough pockets to hold a bag. bale of hay for the stupid sheep that we are.

3. We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our loved ones who have taken the reins of shopping for us since we wore a black henley when grandma woke up.

4. We took a fearless and fearless moral inventory of ourselves while pondering the success of Howie Day in 2004 Collide on a 3-disc carousel boombox.

5. We have admitted to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, including the purchase of the Aero Fragrance Mist 4 Piece Gift Set for Talia McCarthy on Valentine’s Day only for that she turns around and starts dating Billy Hannigan, who started smoking weed before knowing how babies were born.

6. We’re quite ready for God to remove all of these character flaws and the idea that just because he’s colorful doesn’t mean that he doesn’t make him daring.


7. Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings and the temptation to browse the local mall’s clearance rack while we wait for our 7pm screening. The bone collector.

8. We made a list of all the people we injured and agreed to fix them all.


9. Forgive your parents for not making enough money for you to wear Hollister like the popular kids.

ten. Blame the T’s Plain White.

Jeffrey Ufberg / WireImage

PWT’s performance at Aeropostale in the Garden State Plaza Mall on September 25, 2008 was a pivotal moment for Aeropostale and made it nearly impossible for young Americans to part with a brand linked to a group that created success as Hi Delilah and Hi, Delilah (acoustic).

11. Sought out through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, who is everywhere except in the 900 Aeropostale locations nationwide.

12. Pass our knowledge on to future generations, for those who do not learn from our history are doomed to repeat it.


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